Disaster
This morning, I wrote the most positive upbeat post about how things were going. Down 10.5 pounds, and so happy to be feeling like myself and out of the carbohydrate prison. I'm starting to think it was no coincidence that I accidentally deleted the post. It's now late in the evening, and I have just ingested 7, that's right, 7 plain taco shells. WTF????
I know where it started to slide. Last night, we went to our favorite tex-mex place, and I ordered a blackened chicken salad with grilled onions and peppers, guac and sour cream. Somehow the server got our order wrong and brought an entire basket of fresh tortilla chips to the table. I resisted. I was so impressed with myself. The salad was delicious, and I enjoyed every bite. But, my 3 year old wanted to bring the chips home. I know I should have said no, but I didn't. The chips sat on the kitchen table all night, and I didn't even think of them.
This morning, my husband made us bacon and scrambled eggs, that were so delicious. But on our way out the door to to Costco, I caught myself sneaking one chip. Just one.
A little while later at Costco, I saw they had a box of 12 "Oh Yeah" grab bars for a great price. I've read they are really good low carb protein bars. As we were leaving Costco, my son bought a small bag of popcorn for a dollar for charity. The little bag probably held 3 cups of popped corn. He ate very little, and we ended up bringing it home, where it sat on the kitchen table next to last night's tortilla chips. I skipped lunch, but ate an Oh Yeah bar. It was very tasty, but I immediately felt like, "uh oh, what did I do?" At 4pm, I found myself eating the bag of popcorn. Why, I don't know. I was just going to take one taste, but I couldn't stop once I started.
I had a great dinner, grilled cheeseburger with green beans and a salad. I was full and satisfied, but still feeling a little bad about the popcorn. After dinner, it really hit me. Last night's chips were calling me. Loudly. I opened them up, and started in 2, 3, 4, 5, 6..... My husband asked me, "What are you doing?!?!" I told him, I didn't know. They just tasted so good. I said, "It's like crack..." He took them away from me and threw them in the garbage.
After he went to bed, I remembered we had those taco shells in the pantry from a dinner, like, 3 weeks ago. (I ate a taco salad, and the boys ate tacos. 5 between the two of them.) There have been 7 taco shells in the pantry for 3 weeks, and I was never once tempted, but tonight, it was a free for all.
So, here's how I feel ten minutes after my little taco binge. My lips are swollen and red around the edges. My fingers are swelling up as I type. My belly feels distended, and it feels like my face is swelling up. The whole time, I was thinking, "Oh god, how much is this going to set me back?" But, it didn't slow me down at all. I didn't stop until the goods were gone.
Now it's time to face the music, I guess. I will not be surprised if I see a 3-4 pound gain in the morning, but I will be disappointed in myself. Talk about throwing yourself under the bus!
Tomorrow, I get back on the horse like this never happened. Putting it out here is putting it behind me. No more corn for me!! It's my kryptonite!
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