I still pick up the 10 and even size 12 clothes when I go to a clothing store. When I went to buy first new pair of jeans, I picked up an 10, then 8, my boyfriend was like that's looks offly big for you, but I didn't believe him. I ended up fitting in the 4. How in the heck is my mind working? I think you're right - it will take some time for my mind to adjust and catch up. It's crazy to see all the things that my mind (I guess unconscious) has done to protect me. Like for example, even though I think I still wear a ten, when I look in the mirror I feel like I have never changed (never changed from gaining the original forty pounds). So I was in denial about the gain and now in denial about the loss...lol.

About the whole friends issue. I have realized soo much in this area and have said it before on this site. The majority of people I know and be jolted in some way by my weight loss. It's seems that most can't handle it and are either jealous or miserable and want everyone to join there party.

A friend and I were talking the other day and she said that she really just wanted to congradualate me on my weight loss b/c she knew it had been something that I had wanted to do for a long time. Anyway, we decided that when people remark about you or your changes, it always comes back to them. So it reality it's hard to see what they really mean (and the reason why you shouldn't really care what others think). For example, I have this friend that does not trust anyone (she thinks that everyone is overall negative and backstabbing), when in reality she is that person. She projects herself onto everyone else. How can someone be trusting in her mind when she's not. And the same goes with weight loss. It's would be easier to explain this with words (not typing) and with my hands moving about - I can always articulate myself better that way.

In the beginning, I couldn't wait for people to comment on my loss, but now it makes me feel uncomfortable too, especially when I see girls from freschmen year that still have their weight. It's always like "well didn't you get skinny." It's not like "wow you look really great." I never realized how unsopportive the world is and I never thought I would realize that with something as mundane as weight loss. That's why this site is so amazing - I have found my support and people like me, without them I probably would have given up a long time ago.

Erin