Hi there, Erin. I found your post very interesting. Speaking as a Former Fat Girl, Thin Girl, Fat Girl again, I know what you're saying. We focus a lot on exteriors and not nearly enough on interiors. While your body was getting more fit and more pleasing to your eye, your soul was still very out of shape and you're the only one who really sees that part. You speak to something I have said many times... everybody notices and comments on the awesome physical changes you've undergone, but nobody asks how you're really doing. As a society, we are conditioned to a sort of fat people bigotry. Even fat people...look at how we beat up on ourselves sometimes. BUT, ultimately we are responsible for our own perception of weight...ours, a friends, or Kate Moss'. You have to try to take your fitness program to an internal level and figure out why it matters so much what you look like. I know...me, too. Lot's of people. You're not alone in your quest for self-acceptance. Finding out we're not alone in anything, really. Just say it and see how many people say, "Yeah...me, too." Good luck, sweetie.