Personal pronouns are the essence of saving yourself because they convey that the person has identified whose problem something is. “Whose problem is it” is confusing to people that are in denial. Take a four year old riding a bike in the middle of the street. Is this the child’s problem? If you approach it on that basis, there will be resistance and perhaps a battle of wills. No, the problem is the attendant (parent’s) problem. They are the one worried about the prospect of injury not the child. When approaching the child with “I am worried that you will get hurt…”, like magic, the child usually complies because we have communicated with honesty. Same with us, when we can say something like “my weight is a sad representation of me”, the honesty triggers something that touches us mentally. After a learning process, I was then able to be honest with ME. I think that losing weight for anyone else doesn’t seem to have a sound of truth.

Martin