Jaz, will go back and read your post and respond to the rest of it later but regarding the pool-

It depends on how much you would use it for certain. For DH and I, we don't use it- we aren't big pool people. It was great to have when our kids were younger and so forth and if we are still here grandchildren would enjoy it. For us NOW it is not worth it.

Second consideration- size and ease of opening/closing. Trig opens and closes her own. Our pool is very large and we use a company to open/close it to the tune of about 700 dollars per year. Then of course if you need chemicals/to balance it, that costs money. Eventually pool equipment (filter etc) runs out and needs to be replaced- that costs money. In ground pools need to be refinished about every 15 years - that cost us about 20 grand. The cost of running the filter etc in terms of electricity costs.

So long story short, if your budget is at all tight, I would DEFINITELY not get a pool. My Dh had one growing up, he was happy having one here and I have liked it for the kids but I likely would not do it again.