Dont be afraid to persue hormone replacement therapy. Just need to find the right doctors to support your choice to follow this route.
I am changing doctors again as Iam tired of fighting for a better life----when I am on low doses in balance with my own supply my outlook is better, my strength is better, and incontinence disappears.

Mentally we can use supports like st Johns wort, or SAMe. please do your research on these. While OTC, like all supplements they work because they have an effect, and like all meds, there can be a down side that you need to consider. Also Vt D3 and a bit of sunshine can lift your spirits as you work thru this new phase of your life.

Also check into Dr Christiane Northrup. I have one of her videos and it is hillarious!!! For us women, and on the dvd, a not for TV edition.....she is so truthful..... and supportive of womens helath.
She has a couple very good books, including one on menopause, which of course actually starts many years prior. lol

I still have hotflashes even at my stage of the game.... it is a process.