hi-
I don't ever go off plan, and I must not have the kinds of cravings you have at RM.
I know you are not alone- there are so many people her to share your story and who understand.
There is an "Emotional Issues" thread area where you can post about how you are scared and post about the binging and cravings. We will help you here.

It is a very different place to maintain and not lose. I just stay on plan - this is not a diet, but a way of life.
Do you walk much- that can help. Not eating sugar for RM seems to help some people too.
I'm glad you are here-
E