1. Take my daughter to the beach. I don't take her now because I don't want to be the fat lady that can't take off her shorts and shirt.

2. Have a family portrait taken. I just can't have my picture taken right now. My daughter desperately wants a picture of all of us and it tears me up having to tell her mommy hates having her picture taken.

3. Wear all the beautiful clothes I have sitting in my closet as well as all the shoes. I buy tons of shoes and never wear them because I can't fit in any cute clothes. I will also spend so much on cute sexy clothes I will make myself sick and I will leave my jeans laying on the floor just so my husband and anyone else who wanders in can see the size : )

4. Have sex without insisting the light is out. I never used to be like this. I hate that my weight has done this to me.

5. Feel happy and confident with myself again. I know it is just fat and there could be sooo many worse things but it has affected just about every aspect of my life. I no longer want to feel that there are limits to the things I can do.

6. Stand up in my sister's wedding in November. I had to tell her no for now because I just can't deal with the way I look in dresses and pictures. I obviously won't be the weight I want to be, but hopefully I can lose enough to give me the confidence to say "screw it I'll do it".