Oh, the cigs weren't mine! There are no cigs in my house anymore. I threw them all away on May 31st.

A friend was visiting me, and while she was here, I received a phone call that upset me quite badly. I began to cry, and she was only trying to help by offering me a cig. I actually had the sense to say that smoking wouldn't solve the problem, but then the ol' Nicodemon whispered in my ear, reminding me of how cigs used to calm me down when I was upset. I fell for it, even though I knew it wasn't going to help for long or in any real way. Deep breathing would have been a better choice, but I wasn't thinking that clearly.

As my friend was leaving, I asked her please never to offer me a cig again, even if I asked for one.

As it is, though, what's done is done. All I can do now is go back to avoiding the "sickarettes."