Oh my gosh, I think I’ve found my twin! I too fell off the wagon at least 8 years ago after being pretty successful. I cannot get focused enough or have the willpower to keep on it.
I too am an all or nothing kind of girl and need to get my head in the game first then hopefully the rest will follow.
Good luck to you and I’ll try and climb back on that wagon instead of it running me over. Lol