See, I suspect in retrospect he probably chose slightly the wrong word. But I think I know what he means.

It's anger, pity, frustration, all balled up in an eventually OH FINE THEN JUST KILL YOURSELF because that's what it comes down to. When people you love are doing this to themselves every day and you have to watch it, it's horrible.

Eventually it does turn into a grim sort of feeling that if you have to listen to them bitch about their health issues, is eventually going to reach disdain because they won't even try.

Everyone has sympathy for people who try and fail. It's hard to have sympathy for people who will not try.

And when people you love constantly try to sabotage YOU, too -- because apparently your mortal doom is no more important to them than their own -- that is frustrating too.

Having to live a healthy lifestyle in the middle of people who won't, having to watch people you love eat themselves to death, having to put up with people who have no respect for their bodies or yours and all the ways that can play out close up -- that's hard. I think some degree of disdain is a survival instinct. It's not that he's a snob, it's that he needs to emotionally shield himself from the BS and that is a natural progression of emotion IMO.

PJ