...but whenever I see Nat's name by a thread I have to check it out...

...and this is an interesting issue on many levels (not minimizing your feelings about this agonycat...).

This whole issue of Internet flirtation and surfing for photo images, etc...is very complicated in terms of relationships, fidelity, etc. We're still stumbling with it in our house, too. Is it really "cheating" or not? It's certainly not a pleasant thing to discover, but maybe it's not only not as bad as it looks at first. Perhaps in some extrememely contemporary way it's healthy and serves a acceptable purpose.

Though Internet flirtations may not be your cup of tea and may not appeal to you, it may make your partner feel a little better about himself. Maybe he's feeling a little bored with his life. Maybe he needs to be reminded that people find him attractive. There are just SO many issues and possibilities.

When things become more personal and real names are used or when flirtations become face to face meetings, that's different.

I'm not suggesting that you should be happy about this. But as difficult as it may be, you might want to try an open and non-emotional (that's the tough part) discussion about it.

P.S. Keep in mind that he might be defensive and feel that he's been snooped on because you've checked his computer files. And be prepared for tension every time he wants to use the computer....

I know my thoughts on this may be controversial. I just think it's important to consider all the possibilities...

Sorry for rambling...

Donald