The Head of the Beast
 

For my entire life I have struggled with the emotional issues surrounding being overweight. We all know the feeling. Today, however, was the worst being "fat" has ever made me feel.

I met the love of my life and we have three beautiful children. This man, at my worst made me feel the most beautiful I have ever felt in my life... Until today.

For the past few months, he hasn't shown me the sexual affection that he once did, I pushed it aside and blamed other things but today it hit me.

He is no longer attracted to me. If I was smaller, I know I would have the confidence to put the spark back. But, right now I just feel like a beast. He looked away when I dressed this morning but intently stared at the 20 year old girls flashing their breasts on Jerry. He complained about the boredom he feels and finds excitements in strangers showing him affection.

If I could wear a bikini, look hot naked maybe he would want me again.

I refuse to let this FAT stand in the way of my perfect life. Today is the last day I will feel bad about myself. Want to change. I WILL CHANGE.

Forgot to mention the real kick in the side, he handed me a liposuction brochure to browse. Wow.

Ow. Yes, I think he's hinting, but in a very clumsy and clueless way. Over only 40 pounds? Really; in my opinion he's got issues that he's trying to blame on you. Why not just discuss your weight and health and how it impacts your lives?

Start the discussion yourself, if you wish. And is he one of those people who can inhale an entire cake and not show it, or is he adding some, too?

Here's a favorite website to take the whole family on this health journey:

Paleo Parents

They were both overweight and had health issues; and their children were starting to mirror their own difficult childhoods. They turned it completely around and are much happier and feeling better, than they ever have before.

All too often, we blame ourselves for "our" weight problems when it is our toxic food environment. If we have children, who after all might have inherited these same metabolic responses to the junk food that surrounds us, we have to think of them, too.

I'm here to tell you, attractiveness is in the mind. My own husband still found me attractive before, during, and after I gained and lost over sixty pounds.

You aren't the only one responsible for the spark; it takes two.

Thank you. It was a clumsy hint and in fact he the next day started a conversation about us going back to being vegetarians again, patting his own tummy while discussing it. :) He is wonderful really, just not so tactful. But we are going to work on it together, like anything else in life.

I am so pleased! Clumsy I certainly understand!

Sounds like the issue has more to do with him than you. Seems like he's feeling a little down. Maybe a long talk about what's going on in his life might do more good than anything else. Also, even if you were a Hawaiian Tropics model, he would still look at the flashing girls on Jerry.

He has been struggling. This is his sixth month of sobriety after 10 years of being a severe alcoholic. I am lucky to have him and so proud that he is sober now. For the most part I try to keep my emotional issues on the back burner so we can focus on him recovering but sometimes they get the best of me.
Good news though, down my first 5 lbs! Hooray