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I am enjoying this blog too- very interesting. I just told someone on Monday that as much as I would love to come over for bagels, I don't eat carbs for breakfast but would love to come and bring protein. SHe said 'that's okay that you don't want to come... I'll ask someone else." sigh. But I'm doing great and this is my body....... |
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I'm so sorry Eno...she is not a good friend with a reaction like that!! :thdown: Sid- if you like, your comments on the article would be welcome at their site also. :wave: |
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That's so bizarre. So she values... what? a carb-only breakfast?...over your company? I'd say scratch her from your potluck invite list, seriously! |
thanks- she is a 'new friend' and I think not destined to be a real friend. I was sort of taken aback by her reply, but I think she was hurt that I didn't just jump at the invite. I thought it would be worse to not say anything and just decline, or to go and not eat. Going and eating to be 'socially correct' is no longer something I am willing to do to myself. I decided that I am more important than my idea of what the other person wants/feels.
I have been maintaining now for almost 5 years, and there are lots of people who have never seen me fat and know me as thin. So they have no idea that I live LC. It is new for me. This woman is one of those people, but she is struggling with her weight and after another person told her about my success she did ask me and I spent over an hour talking to her and giving her books and stuff (about 6 months ago). so..... Being LC and being thin and maintaining - this is my 'normal' but it still feels like a balancing act. And I am very aware that I am just managing my underlying metabolic issues (whatever they may be!)- and this is for the long haul. |
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That explains it Eno....now I can see why she said that. Its not about you and its all about her. One thing that I've noticed about people who ask me about my weight loss, is that they are very excited to hear about it, at first. But when they realize just how much hard work and focus losing weight requires, they tend to fold. Then I become a symbol of something that they feel they've failed at and my presence itself, is a reminder for them. I think it is very important that successful maintainers discuss these issues with each other because who else knows what we go through? :) |
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From Refuse to regain:
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Yes, exactly!! :agree: Its the same amount of focus as losing it...we can just eat more food now. :lol: |
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I'm sure we've all also run up against the "oh, you don't have a weight problem! This is fantastic, surely you can have..." I almost always demur politely, but one time I lost it and got mean. I said "You know, urging that dessert on me is like urging an AA alcoholic to have a drink." We both felt terrible, but it was true. So it is a tough road to hoe. We alienate or irritate friends, family and colleagues. Very few of them get it that it is a WOL, and that we *will* regain all of that weight if we abandon that WOL. So you have to become very selfish. After I'd lost a considerable amount of weight, my partner became my worst enemy on that front. I've "destroyed his interest in cooking." I'm very sorry about that, but on this I will not budge. (And I do all of the cooking, now.) My sister lost almost 100 lbs on Atkins, then gained it all back because of family pressures about the meals. So here's a question. I bet there are a lot of us who struggle to maintain because of external pressures. How to deal with that? |
From Refuse to Regain:
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For instance, I have become quite adept at saying 'NO'. I also use the 'food allergies/wheat intolerance' card when I need to as well. I will admit that there are times, however, when I do indulge, but it is always my decision to do it and not anyone else's. I don't do it that often, but when I do, I always cut back food-wise for a few days to get myself back on track. The following are some excerpts from a couple of weight maintenance books, which deal with this issue and are very similar to the tactics I employ at times: Quote:
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Great post Demi!! :thup:
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What a great thread! How have I missed this for so long?!! I have to disagree with the 4th answer in Demi's post - I've found that anything like "I'm tempted, but ..." invites all kinds of coaxing. I find something like "No thank you. I'm sure it's good but I don't eat (whatever)" doesn't leave an opening for argument.
Re yogurt, I've been making my own using table cream (18% BF) and it's so beautifully thick and rich I can hardly eat more than 1/4 cup at a sitting. It's great with fruit or cocoa (sweetened a tad naturally), but it's also great plain - wonderfully tart and refreshing. I've only been maintaining for about 6 months ... well, maintaining at my current weight - before that I maintained about 15 lbs heavier for over a year - at that time I called it a stall! |
Hi Glenda!
Welcome to maintenance!! :wave: |
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I've thought about this issue of social pressure, and I have to be honest. The worst social pressure is from ME. There are times I just want to be NORMAL- why can't I have the (fill in the blank)- why can't I be like other people. Sometimes I even want to prove I am normal- to myself or others. THis of course involves eating something. What I have to do in these situations is talk to myself and just remind me that I am not normal- I cannot eat the SAD- it will make me sick. I remind myself how much healthier and happier I am eating LC- and that this is just the way it is and that I just can't go "there" anymore. Being prepared for these situations helps too- as they are predictable. Parties and restaurants are the worst- parties being number 1. I find that making decisions before I go into those situations seems to help. Like the post on being bored with the food choices, sometimes I think I am bored/tired/frustrated with just being me and being in my body. But them I remind myself how much much much better my body is since LC- and it does help me just move on. |
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