self-acceptance

[doreen T]

Hi folks :)

I recently read a letter in a fitness column from a woman who was so ashamed of her obesity, she wouldn't even go for walks in her neighbourhood, for fear of catcalls, or someone making fun of her weight. Has this ever happened to you?? Does self-consciousness influence your activity choices??

I used to go to a fitness club, but I'd only go when I knew the place would be empty, like mid-morning. Even now, I prefer hiking local trails rather than power-walking on city streets. I use the excuse that traffic fumes bother me (true) but the greater reason is that chipmunks and bluejays don't mind if I'm fat.

There are no pictures of me at 215 lbs, at least none where I'm not hiding behind large furniture, or in the back row of group shots.

I have heard friends say they'll start going to the gym, but not till they've lost weight first.

Does anybody else experience this?? What do you do to overcome it? Fear and shame are probably the greatest influences on human behaviour outside of GUILT (the big one). Even pride and desire are less strong. Is the problem with other peoples' - society's attitude? or is the problem inside our own head??

Just curious, Doreen

[doreen T]

from http://www.sizewise.com

August, 2000 - Men Becoming More Obsessive About Their Bodies - Remember that terrific Special K cereal commercial where the men in the bar are asking if their hips look too big, etc. You know, thinking like women when it comes to body size. Well, the sad news is that men are starting to obsess about their bodies. A study published in Psychology Today shows almost 51% to 48% of men under the age of 50 are dissatisfied with their appearance. In 1972 only 15% of men expressed the same concern. That makes three times as many men fretting about their looks.

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BEFORE YOU START YOUR NEXT DIET...
CONSIDER THE SELF-ACCEPTANCE ALTERNATIVE.
STOP PUTTING YOUR LIFE ON HOLD
Don't wait until you're down to a certain size to lead a full productive life. Accept yourself the way you are and get on with enjoying your life today and every day. Surround yourself with friends and loved ones who also accept you.

;)

[Webmaster]

Originally posted by doreen T

Don't wait until you're down to a certain size to lead a full productive life. Accept yourself the way you are and get on with enjoying your life today and every day.

This is so true, if you don't love yourself NOW, you may jeopordize your progress. It's quite a different motivation when you want to improve yourself, vs. getting rid of your current "horrible" look.

[wheels]

Self acceptance is hard for most humans. It's got very little to do with how fat / skinny they are. keep up the low carbs, exercise and you will feel more powerful each day. Not b/c you look perfect but because of what you accomplished for you.

[Lessara]

Its not just accepting your body size but to accept that you are getting smaller. I had to readjust my mind from "I want to lose weight so when I'm smaller, men will want me more, At work they will give me a raise.." etc to "I want to have more stamina so I can run, jump and play, when I lose weight I'll enjoy it by creating positive and happy memories."

I didn't realize I was sabataging my weight loss. Why? Because every time I lost my weight something bad happened. Very bad things, rape being one of them. I realized I had to build happy positive memories to forgive the negative ones. See what I mean?

[~krista~]

I was intimidated by the thought of joining a gym. I started lowcarbing in March 2003 and didn't join the gym until January of 2004, by then I had lost a good deal of weight. I watched all the fit people working out and I felt like such a blob. I was and still am very dedicated and I go 5 days a week. I've now lost over 100lbs and I'm a fixture at my gym. I know how it felt to feel like everyone is looking at you, judging you. Being overweight/obese is a horrible thing, it makes you feel so badly about yourself. I felt invisible when I was big, people wouldn't meet your eyes, it's really sad. One of the greatest things to me now that I've lost the weight (still have 7-9 more lbs to go, a drop in the bucket right?) is that I am happy INSIDE. I'm almost annoyed when someone who formerly paid no attention to me now wants to strike up a conversation. Pfffffffffffffffffft. lol.

That's it for my 2 cents!

Cheers

[jemman]

i started 'dieting' in january, LCing in april & didnt join a gym until about 6 weeks ago, after i had lost well over 100 pounds.

i have very few pictures of me when i was big too...

im still struggling with self acceptance. its so shitty. i know im at a decent weight & a decent size, but i still cant get over feeling self concious.

i am leading a more productive life now than i did before, but i doubt you would see me at the Y or the beach in a bathing suit anytime soon :\ *sigh*

[hifive]

I wasn't terribly overweight when I started LCing (about 40 lbs), but it was a lot for me, and I was REALLY nervous about going back to the gym... I used to be a fixture there, worked out every day for about 2 years, missed very few days (always due to work/being out of town), and I worried that I would see my former trainer or some other folks I knew and they would say "Haven't seen you for a while," and look down at my body and mentally add, "...and it shows!"

(It took me forever to go to a gym in the first place, 4 years ago--and it was a shock to realise that I am not the centre of the universe :), and nobody was staring at me!)

I had to lose about 20 lbs before I could face the gym again this time. And you know what? No one looked at me funny. Nobody cared. People come and go in the gym, everyone is doing their own thing. Sure, people are judgmental, but I bet most people who see that really morbidly obese (~400 lbs, I am sure) woman on the treadmill simply admire her! I know I do. She has more courage than all the rest of us put together.

I am not as brave as she is. If I were morbidly obese, I would def wait until I looked more "normal" before I went to a gym. I am not proud of that, but it's true.

That's why I admire her so much, and others like her. I am sure other people feel the same way I do, seeing her there. I wish I could tell her; but it's so awfully condescending-sounding. I don't mean it that way, though.

It's a pity that fear of others' judgments keeps us from helping ourselves, sometimes. I am the worst in terms of stupid self-consciousness, but I am hoping to do better.

:)Lucy